Novelty

I think one of my favorite words in the english language is "Novelty."

Think about it, doesn't it just evoke this warm, exciting, "things are changing for the better" feeling? No?

I think it does! I like change, I know some people dread it but change is amazing and contrary to what people believe I think change turns out for the better! Well, I suppose only if you're optimistic. but I usually am, believe it or not. ;)

On a transitional note, I guess I should talk about what's been going on in my life. Give you a little briefing...

To start off... I AM A CLAM...as happy as one flippin' clam!

Whenever I'm able to contemplate how my day went and how my life is going I can honestly sigh with relief and think... "wow. LIFE. IS . GOOD." As of recently I think I've really been able to breath easier knowing that this huge weight is finally off my shoulders. For a very long time I've been overcome with this enormous amount of hurt and although my wounds are still tender I've finally stop... what's the word? oh, I know... CARING! I've really let go and allowed myself to be me. Silly, ridiculous, and snappy Joanna.

and while that Joanna never went away I always downplayed her in fear of judgements...

and now I've just stopped caring because I've figured something out... "he's gonna hate me either way!" hahahaha... and I love this man. With all my heart I do but he would never have loved me...period.

So I'm almost up that hill and I'm so ready to be completely over it. but for now, I am content.

::Breath in. Breath out:: :)